I haven’t written in a while, and until I feel like writing something that was not assigned to me at work or in school, I’ll give you some traditional narcissistic blog minutiae to keep up with the masses writing about their earth shattering everyday lives:
Today I woke up at 6:50 AM. I was supposed to get up at 6:00. I set my alarm for PM instead of AM. I’ve done that twice this week.
I had two pieces of wheat toast for breakfast, toasted on level 4, which is just past halfway between light and dark on my toaster which I got at Wal-Mart for $10, which sometimes makes a buzzing noise at me if it doesn’t feel like toasting that day. On one piece of toast I put sugar free jam. On the other I put fat-free, low-cal “butter” spray. I wish I had eaten half a box of mini powdered donettes and a Super Big Gulp of Diet Coke instead.
When I got off the Metro today, I had a sharp pain in my left foot. That sharp pain has been there for a week. I believe it is a consequence of wearing 3-inch heels and walking to and from the Metro everyday. I would wear flats, but just one person in my entire company knows I’m really only 5’1”. I must choke back the pain and persevere.
I almost got hit by a car on the walk to my office. It would have been my fault. I was jaywalking and staring at myself in a store window trying to see if I was walking all gimpy.
I had “Whoomp There It Is” in my head from 9:00 until about 10:45 today. It’s hard to balance the DoD’s budget to that beat.
At 11:00, I lined up animal crackers across my desk, like animal with like animal, and hummed circus organ music. Halfway down the line, somewhere around the camels, I got tired eating of animal crackers and put them back in the bag.
Around 2:00, I pondered why candy corn looks nothing like corn. My coworker pondered why candy corn is named as such while jelly beans are not called candy beans. We then wondered if the candying of vegetables is a conspiracy to make children identify more positively with the vegetable group. Our other coworker confused our theory by bringing up candied yams, which are not a candy.
At 4:10, I realized that just about every female Government worker is named Kathy. I also realized that my voicemail recording at this customer site says I’m Joy Fulton. Maybe I'll change it tomorrow.
At 7:15, I went to dinner at my parents’. That’s a good thing since the only food left in my apartment right now is sugar free jam, fat-free, low-cal “butter” spray, half of a Hershey bar, and a can of Diet Sprite. I briefly considered going grocery shopping after dinner, but then I decided I would rather do nothing instead.