So, Anyway, About My Cat

Look at my cat.

Tons of you are posting pictures of your kids' first day of school and abstract crayon art or are sitting around discussing exploded diapers, or whatever you parents do with your time. Me? I'm using my spare time to wax poetic on how pointless unscented Mr. Sketch markers are and to tell my cat she's a good girl. And she is a good girl - when she's not burping cat food in my face or eating cords.

LOOK AT MY CAT.

I was a reluctant cat guardian. I love animals, but not really free-range ones in my home. Same with the idea of free-range children and house guests. Something that can touch my stuff? I'm hardly used to Eric doing that after almost six years of marriage.

Okay, fine, so I'm a little behind on the baby-having; most people my age are having children and passing on their traits and genetic code. You're all learning to be responsible adults and to drive the speed limit and to teach your baby Cantonese sign language. Cool. So, anyway, about my cat.

Despite her being a total monster who barfs at will and opens closed doors, she's become a part of our weird little family. Sure, she's missing a tail and she occasionally attacks the darkness, but she fits right in.

You guys, look at my cat.

I'm missing things too, like spacial skills, the ability fathom the concept of torque, and the biological girl-ness that allows women to love Dirty Dancing and Grease. But, like Smudgie, I make up for my shortcomings in hairballs and jammed vacuums. Frankly, Smudgie Morgan is absolutely Morgan.

Being Smudgie's owner makes me feel like I'm important and worthwhile - even if it's just because she can't get her own food. She can repeat back words like "yeah" and "anus," which makes me proud. So proud, in fact, that all I want to do is talk about my cat. Your baby is walking now? Well, my cat can ingest 4,200 hair ties AND a FitBit. Little Landon was accepted to the Montosorri school? My cat just made a 9-foot scoot on the carpet.

We play together, I sing her songs, we share snuggles, I feed her, and I brush her fur into a little cat mohawk. I'm almost a mother. And it's not bad. Not bad at all.

If you want to discuss my cat further, send me an email.