Small Rebellions

My life is defined by order.  Everything has a place, a schedule, and a packing algorithm.  Without this level of control, I would never be able to accomplish the many things that I can in a short about of time.  However, as will all efficient machines, I’ve got to let off a little steam sometimes.  This is done by way of small rebellions.  For example, I have three of Eric’s dress shirts and a pair of his pants hanging in my office closet, waiting to have buttons and a hem repaired.  Eric isn’t aware that I have absolutely no idea how to repair buttons or hems.  I considered taking them to my dear tailor Miss Joy and then not telling Eric I outsourced the job.  But that seemed dishonest.  Then I thought I’d look up tutorials online and do it myself.  Then I realized I didn’t particularly care if 3/17 of his dress shirts were out of commission for another week, and I grabbed a kombucha and watched Toddlers & Tiaras on demand.

Not only are those shirts and pants probably never going to be repaired (by me), but we’re also intentionally in violation of the homeowners association for the second year in a row.  This is, by far, the lamest form of badassery.  The first year of violations was mostly because the HOA used fancy architectural terms like “widow’s walk” that we didn’t understand.  So, we threw away the warning letter.  This year, though, it was more like, “We could fix that widows walk or…go to Norway.”  I think it’s obvious which we did. To be clear, our house isn’t falling apart and there are no cars parked on our lawn or anything.  This is the widow’s walk in question there over the front porch – apparently the ornamental balls are not regulation size and shape (It’s okay, I laughed at that sentence too). 

Sometimes, however, I rebel against my own good judgment and end up hurting myself to the point where I swear I’ll just be a rule follower and fall back in line with all the other good citizens.  I have a rather cavalier attitude toward contacts and eye care.  I wear monthly contacts for a few months, I use minimal contact solution, and I nap and often sleep with my contacts in.  A few weeks ago, I slept in my contacts. My eyes got redder and harder to see out of throughout the day.  Long story short, I damaged my left cornea.  When the eye doctor said not to wear contacts for a few weeks, I rolled my (damaged) eyes and got caught.  She threatened me with never wearing contacts again.  I have obeyed so far, but not pleasantly.  I wear my glasses when absolutely necessary, but I’m really vain.  Most of the time, I’m Mr. Magoo-ing around town without my glasses on, trying to look normal despite not being able to see a thing.  So, while I learned my lesson about eye care for now, I hope not to be taught another lesson for rebelling against glasses.

These small, mostly inconsequential, rebellions keep me (mostly) sane in my world of order and process.  Even the tamest of us need a little dose of defiance from time to time.